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We've said it before and we'll say it again - Infernal Affairs may have the best plot of any thriller ever made. The undercover-cop-in-the-gangsters vs. undercover-gangster-in-the-police format is up for a Martin Scorsese remake, re-titled The Departed. And now Mr Calvin Kleins himself, Mark Wahlberg, is in talks to join the cast.
He will join Matt Damon, in the Andy Lau role of a gangster who has infiltrated the police, and Leonardo DiCaprio as the cop among the hoodlums, originally played by Tony Leung. Walhberg will reportedly play a cop who is a key figure in DiCaprio's life – which means he's probably taking on the Anthony Wong role, as the only policeman who knows the undercover cop's true identity, assuming that the plot doesn't deviate hugely from the Hong Kong original.
The story will be relocated to Boston, and the Triads will be transformed into Irish gangsters. Which does present a few problems. First of all, the Buddhist concept of continuous hell, which underscored the original film, has no equivalent in Irish except possibly for "last orders". Secondly, it's harder to be menacing with a pint of Guinness than with a pair of chopsticks which could, after all, have someone's eye out. Thirdly, tween and Aran jumpers just aren't as natty as the threads worn by Lau and Leung.
The whole thing will be something of a return to Scorsese's gritty roots, and a move away from the huge-scale epics he's made in recent years – except for the casting of DiCaprio, of course. And after he wins about sixteen Oscars for The Aviator - sorry, if he wins about sixteen Oscars for The Aviator, Scorsese may as well make gritty little crime thrillers, because there's really nothing left to prove.
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